


what it's worth

by lovethevoid



Series: cynosure [2]
Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, i rly don't kno how to tag this, some cute domestic'y bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 00:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18680032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethevoid/pseuds/lovethevoid
Summary: you couldn't get much sleep / i found you just in time





	what it's worth

Otto's arm is numb.

It's impossible to tell exactly when the sensation started, but Awsten was in the exact same position he was four hours ago, and Otto's sort of trapped. He blinks blearily, wishing he wasn't awake, Awsten's thin curtains doing a piss poor job of filtering the sunlight. Awsten sleeps like a corpse - immovable and cold, despite leeching Otto's body heat and being beneath all of the blankets. Otto always was a light sleeper. He wants to be asleep, but a certain beam of sunshine (no, not Awsten. Well -) was relentless, shining directly into his eyes. His arm felt like TV static.

Otto can't feel his fingers, but he runs them through Awsten's faded hair anyway. He wouldn't really consider it purple anymore - it was sort of pastel pink? Lavender? Otto wasn't sure, but he always preferred the lighter versions of Awsten's hair. It made him look softer around the edges, and Otto just wanted to hold him. Well, he always wants to do that, but it comes in waves that are even stronger when Awsten's hair is pastel. It suits him.

Otto doesn't know how long he lays there, alternating between looking at Awsten and the ceiling. Awsten's clock says 09:37 and Otto thinks that might be accurate, but can he really trust Awsten to have the correct time? He can't ask, because Awsren's as dead as Otto's arm is, and Otto would rather die himself than wake Awsten up from whatever little sleep he gets. That, and Otto doesn't want him to go. He'd be perfectly fine here with Awsten on him, even if it meant limb amputation. He'll just wither up and rot away in the meantime, worried about breathing too loud. Christ, when did he get so soft for Awsten? Maybe he was like this all along, just never had an prior incident with Awsten passed out on him in this way. That being said, last year, Otto would've probably moved his arm regardless.

Despite Otto's best efforts to elongate the warm Sunday morning, Awsten begins to stir a little bit. He shifts, rolling into his back and off of Otto, yawning. Otto shakes his arm a bit, waits for the blood to start flowing again, and Awsten sits up. He stretches his arms above his head, arching his back, then turns to smile sleepily at Otto. 

"Good morning, sunshine." Awsten says, his voice quiet and rough around the edges, before laying back down beside Otto. "Get enough sleep?" He asks, rubbing his eyes with loose fists, suppressing another yawn.

"Never." Otto replies, circulation finally settling back into his arm. He's never been so happy to feel blankets under his hand. "You?" He prompts, turning onto his side in order to face Awsten.

Awsten mirrors his position, their faces a few inches away from each other. Otto holds his breath as Awsten thinks over his answer. "Probably not. I just wanna stay in bed all day." He rolls his eyes with a smile. "You should stay. We can just nap all day long." He jokes, his smile turning into a grin. Otto's never heard Awsten have a better idea. He reminds him that he has nothing to do today, and Awsten laughs in response. "No, but I do. I distinctly remember promising you eggs, yeah?" 

Otto shrugs, realizes that he's never really seen Awsten this close. Well, he has technically, but never to just _look_ at Awsten, really see him. Awsten has light freckles beside his nose, beneath his eyes. His lashes are long, framing two-toned eyes; the way the light hits, the colors are more distinct now than usual, the left far bluer than the right. He's a work of art, and Otto's just some dumbass at the museum, content to spend his time staring. Awsten's still smiling, a perfect smile with perfect teeth, and Otto has half a mind to kiss him.

Possible consequences aside, he'd bet it'd be good. Awsten's lips are pink and soft-looking and inviting, so close to Otto's own mouth. He could just lean in, give him a gentle kiss. He wonders how Awsten kisses; if he's gentle and pliant or more rough. Otto would figure the latter, but Awsten's so sleepy right now, he'd probably be lax about it all. Maybe he'd make a surprised noise into Otto's mouth. Maybe he'd kiss back harder. Maybe Otto wants to ruin a friendship (he doesn't, not logically, but Awsten's mouth is a _sin_ and Otto is extremely weak).

Awsten hooks his leg over Otto's hip then, beneath the blankets, closing his eyes. Otto's breath hitches, a sharp intake loud enough that he's positive Awsten heard. It's platonic, because Awsten's always platonic, and Otto's spiraling inside his head again (just be normal be normal be normal _be normal_ ), and he thinks he should maybe hold Awsten or kiss him or something like that, something Awsten would probably push him away for doing. 

Awsten sighs, putting an easy hand on Otto's cheek, eyes fluttering open. "Alright. Breakfast?" He asks, flashing teeth. Otto nods wordlessly as Awsten sits up, and all he can feel is the ghost of Awsten's palm against his skin.

\- - - 

Awsten's kitchen is quiet aside from the eggs sizzling in the pan. He's leaned against the counter near the stove, watching them cook, and Otto wants to slot himself in behind Awsten, wrap his arms around his slender waist, hold him close and kiss the back of his shoulders. He doesn't, doesn't even move from his own place on the other side of the stove, sitting on the counter top.

Otto had offered his help multiple times, to which Awsten swatted at him with the spatula and told Otto to leave him alone, that Otto would ruin them if he got too close. Otto wasn't sure how true that was, but getting slapped once with the spatula was enough reason for him to keep a fair distance from Awsten. His arm still stung from the impact, dull but present. It didn't welt, so he was thankful Awsten had some amount of self-control. To an extent.

In the meantime, Otto spends his time staring. (Admiring? Admiring sounded less scary, so -) He's admiring Awsten: the pieces of short lavender hair sticking up from sleep, the dark circles beneath tired eyes, the gentle curve of his spine down to his - Otto snapped his eyes back up to focus on Awsten's profile again, his cheeks burning with the thought. _Dumbass._ He keeps his gaze high, on hair and face only, and prayed the blush would go down by the time Awsten looked back. 

Deciding to be useful, Otto slides off the counter and starts rummaging through the cabinets for plates. He can feel Awsten's gaze, boring holes into his side, quiet and exceedingly unhelpful, a small smile on his face. Otto's face feels hot as he pointedly ignores Awsten, looking into cabinents just to avoid eye conteact at this point.

"I already got plates out." Awsten says softly, face lighting up as Otto turned to him. "Just cute to see you look for them." He adds, his eyes lingering on Otto's for a second longer than Otto would consider platonic. But it's _Awsten_ , and Otto knows he's projecting his own feelings onto him. Awsten doesn't care if it's not platonic, doesn't care if Otto's cheeks go red again as he stares at the floor. Otto's completely, unbelievably fucked.

 

They sit across from each other at Awsten's tiny table, Awsten blinking sleepily, his cheek resting on his left hand. He smiles when Otto catches his eye, but doesn't start a conversation, so Otto matches his silence in fear of creating some fabricated tension that he knew would be one-sided.

At one point, Awsten nudges Otto's leg with a socked foot, sitting up straight suddenly. "Hey, so. Kinda wanted to talk about last night with you, if that's cool?" He prompts. He seems a little more awake, despite rubbing his eye with the back of a sweater-covered hand.

Awsten sounds open, not a hint upset, but Otto has a sinking feeling. His stomach flips a little as he forces himself to relax, nod a bit. "What's up?" He asks, impressed with his own ability to sound calm when every part of him was shrieking with anxiety.

"Okay. I know I shouldn't - I'm probably crossing lots of boundaries." Awsten says, standing up and stacking Otto's plate on top of his, taking them both to the sink before he comes back. "And feel free to tell me that, really." He adds, pausing for a moment afterwards. Otto wrings his hands in his lap beneath the table, watching Awsten's expressions change rapidly, debating his next words. "If you're into me, let me know." He settles on, tone going soft.

Otto startles, tilting his head to the side. He has a few brief seconds to weigh his options (tell him yes? Would Awsten be glad to hear that, or upset? Tell him no? Would -), debating quickly. "What makes you think that?" He asks instead of answering, relieved to see Awsten smile shyly at him instead of getting irritated.

"I don't know. You act like you like me." He answers, reaching his hand out, palm up. "Maybe I'm projecting." 

"What do you mean?" Otto asks, glancing at Awsten's hand, still scarred from a dog bite long ago, and his heart flutters. _Projecting_ , something Otto knows he's done himself for too long now.

Awsten rolls his eyes. "C'mon. You're gonna act like you don't know that I'm ridiculously in love with you?" He says, grinning at Otto's muted surprise. "So. There. Now you know." He says, starting to pull his hand away just as Otto reached forward to grab it.

"How long?" 

Awsten squeezes Otto's hand tight once. "Does it matter?"

"Maybe."

Awsten leans forward across the table and shakes his head a little. " _Forever_." He says, breathy, his eyes shifting between Otto's. "Or at least since I met you."

Otto squeezes Awsten's hand back. "Kind of a coincidence that I'm in love with you too, huh?" He comments. Awsten's still grinning, and Otto can't help but smile back.

"You should kiss me. And then we should go nap some more and make out while half-awake." Awsten's talking fast now, excited. "And maybe I'll give you a handjob." He carries on, a devious look in his eyes as Otto has a visceral reaction to his words.

"Jesus _Christ_ , Awsten." Otto breathes as Awsten stands up, pulling Otto with him. "You're gonna kill me, peach."

Awsten beams as he looks down at Otto, throwing his arms around Otto's shoulders. "It's only fair. You've been killing me for like, seven fucking years." He says. Otto kisses him in lieu of an answer, and Awsten laughs in the careless way Awsten always laughs, and Otto's heart has never been more full.

**Author's Note:**

> i made an rpf/ship/w.e u call it tumblr! it's mostly gonna be awtto due to who i am as a person but there might be a lil polyparx content 👀
> 
> the url is **notwxrriors**! join me in my suffering! my inbox is open for comiserating and requests alike 👏💙
> 
> (i went back and linked it in all of my prev parx fics too)


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